Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
