You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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