The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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