just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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