I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
