Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
