I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
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I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize