Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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