she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
