I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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