Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
