I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
