I got chris browned last night
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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