Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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