dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize