Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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