doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
