why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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