She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he shaved USA in his pubs
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
even my farts smell like vagina
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
