at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
