so explain again why im purple
no
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
A bitchslap is in order.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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