Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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