On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have fence marks all over my body
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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