whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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