Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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