whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
