just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
