She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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