hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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