Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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