I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize