My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
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My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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