what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
