i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
