Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
