My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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