i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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