Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
