At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
