I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
