I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
