Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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