I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
