I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
