I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
