I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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