walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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