Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
