Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
