You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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