I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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