butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
