I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just cut my nipple shaving
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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