I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
