Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
sarcasm needs its own font
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize