Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
