just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
