i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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