if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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