K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
