Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
